The Pokeberry Quilt

The Pokeberry Quilt

Monday, January 31, 2011

February 17th


I guess I can write about our accident, now. Some quiet moments to reflect how one split second can change your life forever. It does mean something when everyone says, make every moment count, and we kinda of brush off the comment, since all our lives are so busy with such mundane moments.

I was driving Jim to Billings to see his neurologist and fill his pain pump for the
neurology syndrome, stiff man syndrome
that he has. The weather was clear until just outside Billings, about a 2 and 1/2 hours drive from the house when the roads turned to ice. I lost control and tried to bring the truck back onto the highway but it had spun a complete circle and we were hit by an 18 wheeler head on. The last memory I had was seeing the truck and telling Jim to hold on.

I awoke 2 hours later in the Billings Hospital in ICU with Jim just down the hallway. My boss, Julie, had been called and was already there to make the phone calls. Jim had broken ribs, a cracked pelvis, intubated, which was removed since he never want anything but comfort measures couldn't swallow, and had already pulled out any type of feeding tube which he refused also. A head injury and too many lacerations to count. We had always talked about which way our life should move in a situation like this.

I had a ruptured liver, lacerations to my legs, back, a head injury and bruised ribs. Far less severe than any of Jim's injuries.

I was released the second day to the medical floor and Jim was moved to a suite for palliative care where I could spend the night. He became a DNR with comfort measures only. We stayed a week and then was transported home by ambulance which was one of Jim's biggest concerns that he be allowed home with his cats should things go terribly wrong.

Julie was waiting for us with the hospice nurse which became a God send since only more bizarre things could happen, the ambulance got stuck in the snow, a friend went and got his tractor and with Julie driving the ambulance
and the the tractor pushing the ambulance, we got Jim close enough to the house for him to be carried to his room where his precious cats were waiting for him.

I have been taking care of him now with pain medications, cleanings his sick body with help from the hospice nurses, my nursing gives me peace. I wait for him to just take one bite of food. Just one bite. My peace comes from people I don't know, who come when I call and say he has fallen out of bed and they come at all hours to pick him up and settle him back to his level of comfort. The hours tick by like days and he continues to hold on. I sing songs to him and he always said I couldn't dance and couldn't sing, but he laughs at me. The hospice nurse will dance, while I sing.

I hold on.

38 comments:

  1. Keep holding on Nancy. You and Jim are loved in ways you might never know.

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  2. Thank you for letting us know where you are, and how far you have come.
    Thinking of you both.Take care.

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  3. Wishing I could be there for you to hold on to Nancy. You and Jim are in my thoughts and prayers... We are here to listen when you need to talk. Stay strong, but get the rest you need as well. Betsy

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  4. The body is so fragile, but the spirit is strong. Hugs and prayers from my house to yours. You are both in my thoughts.

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  5. Nancy, You, Jim and your family are in my prayers. You have a large family of friends, and we are all pulling for you! Take comfort in the Lord.
    Jeni

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing all this. You are strong even just in writing it and will continue to make a huge difference in your husband's well being as well as others around you. I hope you are making good success in recovering from your own injuries. I do thank God that you have some good people helping you and will pray for continued good support, healing, and comfort. It is good to know you are both able to be home with the cats and the beauty around you. That would be a top priority for me too.

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  7. Oh, Nancy...my prayers are with you for peace and comfort...I am so sorry. One nurse to another...I understand how the act of nursing can help the nurse as well as the nursed. I am just so very sorry.

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  8. So sorry about your accident.I will certainly include you in my prayers!

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  9. Hi Nancy ~ we don't know each other ~ but my heart is with you and your husband. I read about your creativity, your struggle to get out of your drive to go to work, your caring for your Jim ~ and I know that you are a wonderful person ~ resiliant and strong. Blessings to you both ~ you both are in my prayers asking God's highest and best for you both ~ thank you for sharing your story.

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  10. Oh Nancy, (((hug))) ... Bless you guys hearts. I have you both in my prayers.

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  11. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. My wish for you is that you will find all the strength and serenity you need.
    Jeanne

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  12. Nancy, I have never left a message, but so enjoyed your posting. I am deeply saddened to hear of your accident and the injuries to Jim. May you find comfort in the cradle of God's arms. May Jim find peace.

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  13. I read your blog every time you post, but do not leave comments. I find it inspiring. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  14. Nancy, we all continue to be here for you and Jim and you both are in our prayers and thoughts. Love, Beth

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  15. Nancy, many times a day I lift you and Jim in prayer, asking God to strengthen you and give you peace.
    Keep singing.

    Love you, Kathy

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  16. j'espère que tous ces messages vous apporteront la force nécessaire de continuer à chanter auprès de votre mari.

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  17. I'm so very, very sorry. Keep holding on.

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  18. Keeping you and Jim in my thoughts. Sending hugs, always.

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  19. I follow your blog & have been praying for you both.We don`t understand why we have to go through these trials,but watching you & your husband get through these difficult times just gives me more faith.I continue to pray for you & Jim,may God wrap His comforting arms around you both & keep singing,hugs,phylliso

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  20. That just broke my heart.. I wondered and now I can pray for you and Jim,, My hubby is Jim too and I don't know how I would hold on but with God's grace which I pray for you.. I can't imagine the depth of sorrow you are going through but I will pray for all things in His power.
    Hugs and keep holding
    Maggey

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  21. God Bless you and Jim.

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  22. As always, you and Jim are in my thoughts and prayers, every moment of the day.

    Debbie

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  23. Oh my, I have so concerned for you two. Now I know that you will be prayed for.
    Continue to lean on God and we will prop you up with our prayers.

    Katie

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  24. Oh dear Nancy, this breaks my heart for you! You are both in my prayers. Take care

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  25. Sending you (((hugs))) from across the pond - I pray you both can glean the strength to cope with this tragic situation - bless you both

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  26. My heart broke for you when I read your post, keep hope in your heart, sending hugs and thoughts across the globe...
    Lizzie
    xxx

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  27. I am so sorry about your accident and injuries. You are an inspiration to many, and are in our thoughts and prayers. Janyth in Texas

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  28. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and Jim! Keep well!

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  29. Thanks so much for taking the time to update all your online friends.

    I'm so happy you're doing better and that you're able to help with Jim's care. I wish I lived closer to help you but am so thankful you have such caring friends to uplift you each day.

    My prayers are with you and Jim.

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  30. You are an angel on earth, Nancy. Sending positive thoughts and a big hug your way.

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  31. Dear Nancy and Jim, My heart breaks for you, Nancy from one nurse to another I can understand giving Jim your love in your nursing touch. Please know I send my love and prayers, Cathy

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  32. My thoughts are with you both. May you continue to be supported by those nearby & afar. from Jenny (Australia)

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  33. so true...any who have had such close calls or tragedy in their lives understand the cherish, embrace, enjoy and truly make the most of every moment, even the common ones...wish you and jim have lots more moments to spend together, singing & dancing to life's song.... take care cheri

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  34. With tears in my eyes I wish you strength to deal with Jim in his time of greatest need. Bless you both and the ones you call on to help.

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  35. Nancy, your post brought tears to my eyes....did not know you were hit by a tractor-trailer! To have survived that is a Miracle! I hope it is of comfort to you and Jim that you are in the thoughts and prayers of Many people. God bless both of you.......

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  36. Continuing to keep you and Jim in my prayers - wishing you peaceful, joy-filled days, comforted by your kitties, with much singing and dancing.
    love to you both,
    Carol

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  37. My thoughts are with you and Jim. tears came into my eyes when I read this news.

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  38. Sad, sad news. My thoughts are with you. You have a lot to bear right now.

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Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment.