This is a picture of my husband Jim before he became ill over 6 years ago, a long journey of doctors and specialists, neurologists, tests, MRI's until the third neurologist finally diagnosed him with a rare neuological disease called Stiff Man Syndrome. So rare it's one in a million, no cure, no real treatment, treat his symptoms which are constant muscle spasms and cramps, cramps that tighten his muscles from his lungs to his back to his legs. The tightening of his muscles pull him into a crippled position every moment of the day despite his medications and a pump that has been inserted into his abdomen and a catheter into his spine. This was a handsome, healthy man who worked, hiked 10 miles a day just to enjoy the wilderness of our beautiful Montana, he was living his dream. I watch him now battle the pain, the weakness, loss of his dream, and sometimes cry, scream and cry some more for what has been lost. The loss of his personality and joy for life. There are no answers, just more trials and errors to relieve his suffering. I am a nurse, I know what is ahead of us, I pray for hope, for his suffering to ease, to find the man I married. I work, I take a day at a time, I quilt when I can to ease the stress and sorrow, I laugh with a special group of quilting friends, I go on. This is where I am.