The Pokeberry Quilt

The Pokeberry Quilt

Sunday, March 13, 2011

THE 80's

The 80's were time of working for Jim as he gained promotions in his job as I seemed to go from from job to job, finlly landed a job with the postal service so I could transfer to a job in the Colorado, Durango, a place we had visited and liked. Off I went with one cat and few belongings while Jim stayed in Texas to sell the house. I hated it, know why there is the term going postal. Back home in a short time to look for another area.

We became bird watchers, enjoyed the beach, bought a canoe to enjoy the waters and bayous around where we lived. Took a class on canoeing, by the middle of the day, we had yelled at each other over who was in charge that the instructor finally separated us and asked us not to come back. So we taught ourselves, camping in hot Texas, canoeing with the alligators, such fun.

So a big trip for a month to Montana, Canada, Washington, to find that special place. We seem to get in lots of trouble in our outings, someone forgot the spare tire in his excitement of the trip, of course we were in the backwoods of Canada when we had the first flat, strangers to the rescue. Arrested crossing the border from Canada getting back to the US because I told him he didn't have to stop in the line. Don't think I've ever been patted down before. We loved Montana and later took a winter trip to Yellowstone and found our place. Back home, I decided I wanted to return to the medical field, would be able to work anywhere and went back to school for a year while we searched for a house in Montana.

Today I thought of these thing on the drive into town to the hospital. Jim was very lucid whenever he woke up and when he did, it was like the first time he had seen me, he made me feel overwhelmed with love and sadness, and when I would remind him of these past events in our life, would laugh that I remembered all these details, like living them all over again.

He work up once and surprised me by saying how happy he was, "why", because I'm not in pain and feel at peace. And I can't tell you how much I love you. My heart aches that I let these moments escape me thes past years with the wrecks and the sickness and the stress and working. We shared our sorry of the past years, but that we were being given this unbelievable time together to find those moments we had lost as painful as this all is. I could hardly leave him today, crying all the way home. I feel sad for Jim and his family that they have chosen not to come here. I told his doctor this when he asked if I needed any help, my friends help me, strangers help me, he said for Jim's family not coming, some people can't get that close to confronting this kind of pain. I still don't understand.

13 comments:

  1. Dearest Nancy ~ I finished reading with a smile on my face. What adventurous times you and Jim have had. Such special memories to reminisce on now and in the future. Not every marriage has those wonderful memories. ~~~ Linda, Iowa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nancy...how lovely to share your precious memories with us...delighted that Jim has been lifted by given some painless moments...that smiles and laughter can be back in your life...

    ReplyDelete
  3. You guys have certainly had some adventures! More than most I would say. Your post(s) of the things that happened in your travels made me smile. I keep you guys in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There is so much that is hard to understand about families. I am happy to read your remeberings here and know that you are working toward saying goodbye in a way that is so honoring of the life you and Jim have shared.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a sweet story of his waking and really being 'awake' to how much he loves you and how much you've shared. Some people never get that kind of clarity. Your husband's family is missing out but we don't live in their skin and don't know how they process all this. You only know how you're handling it and from an outsider's point of view ~ you're doing a great job!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Nancy, I love reading your story and I'm so glad that Jim can share those memories with you.You are so lucky to have that special relationship. it will give you the strength you need.
    Hugs, Angela.

    ReplyDelete
  7. makes me smile to hear of all your shared adventures of life this is what makes the strong bond between you both so loving...glad to hear of jim's joy in the reminiscing....thank you for sharing....cheri

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am blessed that you are writing this all down and sharing it with us. And I have tears today, some of joy that Jim is relieved of some of his pain and that you two are sharing sweeter moments.
    Glad we didn't read of you in the papers going 'postal' back in the 80's..but canoeing with alligators?! oh my goodness...I would still be having nightmares :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love reading about you and Jim throughout your lives together. Your life has been adventurous. It's those times, good or bad that make memories. I think we are the same age. I relate to alot of it and went to work in Yellowstone in 1969. Keep writing all your memories, good or bad. They are cathartic for you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hold onto all of your happy memories, they are what will get you through all the dark days.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dear Nancy,
    Your stories bring laughter and a smile and a tear or two. What a wonderful time the two of you have experienced together through your adventures and misadventures that finally led you to the Montana wilderness. How I wish that I lived closer. I would bring you both a cup of something warm to drink and share as you reminisce. Sending you both big hugs. Carol

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dear Nancy - really enjoy hearing about your life together with Jim. You really are a born story teller - I hope you write a book someday about your experiences. You and Jim are in my thoughts, as always. Please take care of yourself - you are precious to us.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment.