Spent the afternoon with Jim after receiving the final decision that there is not a facility here in Montana that can take care of his complicated case. So looking to Cleveland Clinic in Florida where there is a neurologist who specializes in stiff man and neurological trauma.
Now,how to get him there and work out all the details, air ambulance would be the best way for him, but the price would tke your breath away. But does it matter anymore.
This afternoon I knew this is what I will do when we laid on the floor on a matress since he has fallen so much, listening to old Beatle songs, eating peanut butter sandwiches and he said I think I'm dying and don't know what I'v done to deserve this. We never do, just what life has handed us to play out. From a book I'm reading, we're learning how to bend with life's trials but we are not ready to snap. When I'm home alone, my hands tremble from the stress, with him, I'm overwhelmed with calmness, I see what I must be and do for him, he doesn't see his own strengths. I'm overwhelmed when he can still make me laugh, wanting a brownie from Schwan's with ice cream, "don't tease me now", after saying I will bring one tomorrow. So hard to leave him. Now I wish I had spent more time with him, but life catches us off guard. From the same author, but another book, what would you say to your loved one if you were given just one more day together. How I wished he knew how much I loved him despite our own emotional pains. I told him that today, just in case.